Friday, October 9, 2015

DEFINITION OF PROPAGATION? Joke No. 4

What was the first thing on the antennas' minds when they got back from the honeymoon?

What are the best atmospheric conditions for propagation?

Bill Murray, if you're having trouble understanding this joke, get in touch with me and we'll have lunch.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

THE ANTENNAS' HONEYMOON - Joke No. 3

Okay, so I’m talking to myself . . . since Bill Murray is the Honorary Advisor for Pontifical Comedy, he surely will be reading some of the jokes, maybe he will read mine, decide it’s a winner, and call me, and we’ll have lunch. You think so?

To borrow a line from all of the professional comedians who are trying to win a laugh from the pope: So here’s my joke:

Where did the two antennas go on their honeymoon?

They went on a DXpedition.

Does that one need a little explanation? Radio hams — who are the biggest users of antennas — are constantly searching for that elusive radio contact. A DXpedition is when a group of hams set up their antennas and radios in some really remote part of the world, and give their stay-at-home buddies a chance to add to their list of hard-to-reach (impossible) places. For example, Navassa Island, Banaba Island, St. Paul Island, north of Nova Scotia, Scarborough Reef . . .

My joke had all the amateur radio hams chortling.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

BESTING BILL MURRAY

Could I think up a joke that would go Bill Murray one better?

Another joke about antennas?

Went online again to see what other antenna jokes there might be out there. Only thing I found was several versions of the two antennas getting married, service wasn’t great, but the reception was incredible.

Took me all day, but here’s my joke: Why did the two antennas decide to get married?

They discovered they were on the same wave length.

Sent that off to jokewiththepope, fingers crossed for good luck (but darned difficult to keyboard that way).

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

GREEN SOCK, RED SOCK

I know a guy who always wears a green sock on his right foot and a red sock on his left foot. We both belong to a seniors’ club, and I often find some reason to call attention to his mis-matched socks. Last time we were in line waiting to pay our lunch tab (No, it wasn’t a lunch with Bill Murray), and I began to chide him for his careless manner of dressing.

He loves my comments, gave him a chance to explain to a (captive) audience of diners at two tables how he used to be a sailing judge. People could never remember his name, but they could always remember the guy who had a green sock on his right foot, a red sock . . . .

There are several punch lines that could be used. I chose: He was colorblind. Another might be: He had to dress in the dark. Successfully submitted it to jokewiththepope.org.

Next I went on line to study a bit more on how to send the Pope a joke he would enjoy, and I found Bill Murray, telling an antenna joke: There were two antennas (I think Bill Murray actually said antennae, but what do I know about latin?) who met on the roof and decided to get married.

The service wasn’t that great, but the reception was fabulous.

Back to head scratching. Could I come up with an antenna joke?

Stay tuned.

Monday, October 5, 2015

BILL MURRAY'S LUNCH DATE

Everyone/anyone who is truly one of my best friends knows that my heart’s desire is a lunch date with Bill Murray.

So when I learned that Bill Murray would be one of the judges for the jokewiththepope.org competition, I began scratching my head to come up with a joke. In my heart, I knew Bill Murray would think my joke was the best joke ever and would contact me personally to invite me to celebrate by having lunch with him.

Alas, I am known in my family as the mother with no sense of humor. So it was hard to think up anything funny.

Later in the day I was in the company of an individual I will eventually describe, and it occurred to me that he was the inspiration for the joke I needed. So here’s my joke:

Why did the sailing coach wear a green sock on his right foot and a red sock on his left foot?

Because he was colorblind.

Stay tuned. You’ll want to read about the antennas.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Re-Claiming my Blog

Surprised I even got back to my blog. Strange, how life intervenes, interrupts, keeps one from pursuing one's goals.

Or maybe one's goals change.

For the last fourteen or so months, my goal has been to survive the letter I received from the City of Olathe that my house, being in a flood plain (so says FEMA) was on a potential buy-out list. What the *&^#@(@&*^ does that mean? Anything from the possibility of a 30-day eviction notice to absolutely nothing happening for years because the city does not have (cannot get) the necessary money for a project.

Couple of weeks ago the city finally had a public meeting, which I was not able to attend, but I spoke with the project engineer the next week. Learned that my house, as well as four others on South Grant, are in Phase II, for which there will be no money until 2019-2020!

And after the entire project is eventually completed, four of the five houses, mine included, will be removed from the floor plain. In the meantime, anyone with a mortgage will have been paying required floor insurance. At least that's an expense I was spared.

Have I remembered enough of the HTML to insert paragraph dividers? We'll soon know.