Saturday, July 30, 2016

No Sense of Humor

That's me -- no sense of humor.

That's why it's so hard for me to come up with a joke. I'm working on a joke now.

It starts like this: Donald Trump, Conrad Black and Boris Johnson walk into a bar . . . .

If I were known for demonstrating a sense of humor, people would be laughing already. Just the very vision of those three doing anything together is so totally amusing, the joke is complete at this point.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Show Us the Socks, Please

In one of his news conferences before he resigned, John Boehner made an off-hand remark to a reporter.

"Why would you wear socks like that?"

His next remark was "I thought the circus was coming to town or something."

Apparently the reporter made some reply, because at this point Boehner refocused his attention on the reporter. "You better go check on the elephants." (A curious suggestion, since the elephant is the symbol of Boehner's political party.)

You can see this on YouTube, under a heading of something like: Boehner calls out a reporter over his dumb socks. (Next time I look at it I"ll bring the link back here.)

But, drat, at no time do we see the socks.

I'm willing to bet that the socks were very colorful, hand-knit for the reporter by an adoring wife or grandmother.

Show us the socks, please.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Joke No. 5

Dang me, I never posted Joke No. 5. It was something about naming the baby. Obviously, none of my jokes won anything, not even Bill Murray's attention.

Just checked out a new book from the library, about blogging, but it's like reading something in a foreign language. Maybe if I could get into the habit of blogging -- something -- every day, I wouldn't have to keep repeating the learning curve.

Friday, October 9, 2015

DEFINITION OF PROPAGATION? Joke No. 4

What was the first thing on the antennas' minds when they got back from the honeymoon?

What are the best atmospheric conditions for propagation?

Bill Murray, if you're having trouble understanding this joke, get in touch with me and we'll have lunch.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

THE ANTENNAS' HONEYMOON - Joke No. 3

Okay, so I’m talking to myself . . . since Bill Murray is the Honorary Advisor for Pontifical Comedy, he surely will be reading some of the jokes, maybe he will read mine, decide it’s a winner, and call me, and we’ll have lunch. You think so?

To borrow a line from all of the professional comedians who are trying to win a laugh from the pope: So here’s my joke:

Where did the two antennas go on their honeymoon?

They went on a DXpedition.

Does that one need a little explanation? Radio hams — who are the biggest users of antennas — are constantly searching for that elusive radio contact. A DXpedition is when a group of hams set up their antennas and radios in some really remote part of the world, and give their stay-at-home buddies a chance to add to their list of hard-to-reach (impossible) places. For example, Navassa Island, Banaba Island, St. Paul Island, north of Nova Scotia, Scarborough Reef . . .

My joke had all the amateur radio hams chortling.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

BESTING BILL MURRAY

Could I think up a joke that would go Bill Murray one better?

Another joke about antennas?

Went online again to see what other antenna jokes there might be out there. Only thing I found was several versions of the two antennas getting married, service wasn’t great, but the reception was incredible.

Took me all day, but here’s my joke: Why did the two antennas decide to get married?

They discovered they were on the same wave length.

Sent that off to jokewiththepope, fingers crossed for good luck (but darned difficult to keyboard that way).

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

GREEN SOCK, RED SOCK

I know a guy who always wears a green sock on his right foot and a red sock on his left foot. We both belong to a seniors’ club, and I often find some reason to call attention to his mis-matched socks. Last time we were in line waiting to pay our lunch tab (No, it wasn’t a lunch with Bill Murray), and I began to chide him for his careless manner of dressing.

He loves my comments, gave him a chance to explain to a (captive) audience of diners at two tables how he used to be a sailing judge. People could never remember his name, but they could always remember the guy who had a green sock on his right foot, a red sock . . . .

There are several punch lines that could be used. I chose: He was colorblind. Another might be: He had to dress in the dark. Successfully submitted it to jokewiththepope.org.

Next I went on line to study a bit more on how to send the Pope a joke he would enjoy, and I found Bill Murray, telling an antenna joke: There were two antennas (I think Bill Murray actually said antennae, but what do I know about latin?) who met on the roof and decided to get married.

The service wasn’t that great, but the reception was fabulous.

Back to head scratching. Could I come up with an antenna joke?

Stay tuned.